So, i figured with my time being pregnant coming to a quick close, I would give some advice to those of you who haven't been pregnant. Before my recent foray into pregnancy, I made most of these mistakes. Thankfully, I know better now, and will never again exclaim loudly to one of my pregnant friends-"You look HUGE!"
1. "Hey, you look great!... You know, being pregnant and all" (Or post-pregnancy "You look great!... You know, having had 3 kids and all")
The best thing to do in this situation is to stop with "Hey, you look great!" or, don't comment at all. Pregnant women know they've gained 30 lbs in 9 months, that they have cankles, that-thanks to raging hormones- they have acne, and that they do, in fact, NOT look great.
2. "That's going to be a HUGE baby!"
Yeah, this is a fantastic one. After having someone tell you daily that you must be carrying Gigantor around in your belly- and then you find out at your sonogram that your child weighs a whopping 3.4 lbs- you tend to start to resent the "huge baby" comments.
3. "You must be carrying twins!"
4. "Are you sure??"
Great response after trying to convince a total stranger in Wal-Mart that you are most certainly only carrying one child.
5. "My sister/cousin/aunt/mother/...."
Followed by some terrifying story about what someone somewhere went through while they were pregnant. So maybe this is just a Southern Thing, but I feel like every time someone finds out I'm pregnant, they have a seriously terrifying story to tell about their pregnant friend. I promise you, we're scared enough, there is no need/point to trying to scare us more.
6."You're naming him/her WHAT?"
Ok, so this is a pretty big one in my book. It's becoming more and more popular that people just don't share their child's name with others before the baby gets here. If you do happen to be in the inner circle that the parent's feel are important enough to share the name with before hand, it's probably not a good idea to grimace/laugh when you hear the baby's name. I mean, even if the name would be better for a parakeet or a new fruit drink, it's still the parent's decision, and they didn't pick the name for the heck of it, they really do like it. I mean, even an "Ohhh...." with a half smile is better than " WHY would you name him/her that?!"
7. "You caught up with me!"
If you are a middle aged man who(after partaking of one too many beers in your lifetime) looks like YOU could be carrying twins, PLEASE, PLEASE do not come up to a pregnant woman and make any comment WHATSOEVER about the similarity in size of our stomachs. No matter how funny it seems to you, it is, in reality, NOT funny to a pregnant woman that they are the size of a full grown man.
8. "How much have you gained?"
I mean, really....
9. "You must be ready to pop!"
No, actually, I'm 4 months pregnant. But thanks.
10. "Should you be eating that?"
This will come with either a silent death stare, or a barrage of verbal insults sprinkled with words you never wanted to hear a pregnant woman speak.