Thank goodness I have a friend in Valdosta who lets me hold her baby! Sarah has been great about letting me learn the in's and out's of being a mom through Ashton. Monday, she let me feed him, and when I look at that nasty green mush that babies eat, I could have sworn I wouldn't have made it through feeding a child! But, it was great, and I made it all the way through without gagging. I must say, I was very proud of myself. Now hopefully, when the time comes, I'll be at least somewhat prepared in the ways of motherhood!
While most nights sleep comes VERY easy, and I'm in bed at ten, some nights it's a bit more difficult. Those nights, it's easy to let my mind wander to the enormity of the fact that I'm going to be a mom. No matter how excited and jubilant I am, there are moments when it's terrifying to think that you will be FOREVER in charge of a new life. My baby wont stay a cute 1,2 or 3 year old for long. Soon enough, it will turn from the child that had unending love for me, the one who thought I could do no wrong, to the 15 year old that thinks I'm crazy and embarrassing (which I absolutely will be). Before I can let myself get overwhelmed by the prospect of raising a teenager, I remind myself that I'm 21 and 5 months pregnant, and have a heck of a long way to go before I even give birth, and a ridiculous amount of time before I have to worry about the terrible two's, much less the teenage years! I've learned that anytime these feelings overwhelm me (including the prospect of actually giving birth, ouch!) I tell myself that I have to take it one step at a time. To enjoy being pregnant, and the only responsibility I have is to eat well, so that my baby can too. I have to learn to enjoy the ride instead of worrying so much about what is to come. Hopefully, I can continue to keep this in mind and keep the stress away, as I have enough of it as it is! School is, of course, stressful, but I keep reminding myself how lucky I am to be going to school to learn about things that I love and things that interest me! I hope I can remember how much I love it by the end of this semester, when I'm 7 months pregnant and finals are going on!
" So if you're worried and you can't sleep, just count your blessings instead of sheep, and you'll fall asleep, counting your blessings"